The Chosen Obama Narrative
Gosh, I Love The Liberal Media
China's Gold Medals Found To Have High Lead Content
The Party of Unity For One America
How Obama Changed Change
Women At Center Stage
Obama Is He Ready to be President
And If Obama Loses?
Martha's Big Adventure - Happy Labor Day
This Historic Candidacy
Crying Wolf On The Economy While Ignoring Real Perils
Kvetching and Convening
Major Media Decide -- Vote Obama
Obama Still Stumbling In Polls
The Senator
Convention(al) Reflections
Farewell To An American Hero
Economy of Words
Farewell, Nato
Findings
Hillary Can't Fix What Her Party Broke
Let's Get Cracking On America's Infrastructure
Mccains Vs. Biden: Not All 'Foreign Policy Experience' Is Created Equal
The Obama Moment
Kennedy's 'Right' Is Wrong
Rolling With The Punches
State of Denial
Obama Camp Claims Its 'Ground Game' Will Beat Bush's of '04
The Perfect Stranger
For Voters, It's A Matter of Trust
Michelle Obama: Family-Values Feminist -- Or Phony?
Game Show Politics
Biden Selection May Help Mccain Make Obama The Issue
Barack
The Quadrennial Whine Is Wrong
The Better Hillary Does, The Worse For Obama
'RomneyCare' Should Keep Mitt Off McCain Ticket
Be Not Cool
Report From A Forgotten War (4th in a Series)
Avoiding A Lieberman Disaster
Quality of Leadership Counts
Art Or Pornography? A Fine Line Indeed
On Shooting Taggers: Why Conservatives And Liberals Differ
New Day, New World, New Democratic Party
Grateful For A Do-Nothing Congress
A Gathering of Clowns Acrobats and Con Men
Win Or Lose, Obama Pioneers Interactive Convention
Obama Nomination Reframes Racial Issues
Democrats Talkin' Like The GOP
McCain Can Win Only As A War President
Young Feminists Shed Label
The Real "Big Tent" Party
Bill Clinton Mending Fences
Michelle Bernard Looks for the Right McCain -- Interview
Losing Faith Voters
Blind Defense of Koran Abrogates Reality
We've Come A Long Way, Baby
The Devils In His Details
The Clintons' Exit



Cindy McCain Robot Gets New Head
Andy Borowitz 6/30/2008
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State-of-the-Art Head Stores 2,000 Recipes "We have the technology."

That was the message out of the McCain camp today as Sen. John McCain unveiled a newly refurbished Cindy McCain robot, featuring a state-of-the-art replacement head.

While the Cindy McCain robot had been a fixture during the primary campaign, appearing at the senator's side at hundreds of campaign events, a McCain campaign aide went out of his way to indicate that with its newly installed head, the CinBot-9000 was ready "to take it to a whole new level."

"This new head is going to enable the Cindy McCain robot to do things that it could never do before," said McCain aide Davison Matz. "For one thing, it will now be able to talk."

Mr. Davison said that while the robot's previous head had been able to emit simple sentences such as "I've always been proud of my country," the replacement head will have a 400-word vocabulary that will enable the android to simulate human-like speech.

"The robot will be able to talk about the economy as well as Sen. McCain himself," Mr. Davison said.

He also said that the newly improved Cindy McCain robot would have increased data storage, enabling it to store up to 2,000 recipes from a variety of online cooking sites.

Appearing with Sen. McCain at its unveiling, the CinBot-9000's new head appeared virtually identical to the previous one, down to its bleached blonde hair and glassy-eyed stare.

Beaming with pride, the GOP nominee remarked on the new head's resemblance to the old one: "She still plasters her makeup on like a trollop."

Elsewhere, President Bush announced plans to carve Iraq into two regions, "Full Serve" and "Self Serve."

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Robot Relatioins
By Brian Fairrington - Cagle Cartoons * Posted 06/28/2006
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Robot Relatioins
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