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For Memorial Day -- Quiet Sacrifice
Tom Purcell 5/21/2008
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For Memorial Day -- Quiet Sacrifice

By Tom Purcell

Ida Ayres never served a day in the armed forces, but she knows a thing or two about the sacrifices of war.

When we think of war and conflict, we think of the men and women who put themselves in harm's way, as we should. But what about the parents, children, siblings and spouses who are left behind to worry and pray?

"Through four wars, I have been the daughter, sister, wife and mother of men who served their country," Ida explained to me.

During World War I, Ida's father, Sam DiRenna, fought for the Italian army. DiRenna, who was born in a small town near Naples, was captured by the Germans and spent four years in a concentration camp. He survived by eating potato peels and garbage scraps. The Germans branded his forehead -- a scar he retained for the rest of his life.

Thankfully, he lived. He was declared a hero in Italy for overcoming the brutality. He eventually settled in America. He sent for his wife. They gave birth to Ida and two sons, Angelo and Pasquale. Life was hard during the Depression years, but Ida's family prevailed.

But then America was thrust back into war -- a war in which both of Ida's brothers would serve. In 1944 Angelo enlisted in the Navy. Pasquale followed in
1945. Angelo was stationed on the LST 1040 and Pasquale served on a carrier.

Their letters home arrived every three or four weeks, then Angelo's letters stopped coming. Six months passed without a word. Ida was distraught, her mother barely able to function. Finally, word came that Angelo's ship had been in a typhoon. But he survived.

Both brothers returned home and the world was finally settling down. The economy grew at record rates. Ida eventually would marry and have two sons. Her husband, Harry, had fought in Korea before she met him (he'd doctored his birth certificate and found himself on the front lines as a 16-year-old kid). After they married, he was called to serve another tour in Korea. Thankfully, he returned home safe.

But in 1966, her husband was called back again. This time he left his wife and two sons behind to fight in Vietnam. As an Army major, he was lucky to survive 12 months of dangerous air missions. In one battle his best friend had both arms and legs shot off right next to him.

In 1968, Ida's oldest son Sam announced he was eager to join his father in Vietnam. Fresh out of high school at 17, Sam enlisted and became a medic. The young man saw some of the worst horrors that that war produced, horrors that are with him still.

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By RJ Matson - The St. Louis Post Dispatch * Posted 5/21/2008 12:00:00 AM
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© Copyright 2008  RJ Matson - All Rights Reserved.

Posted By: zammer  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

My comments, not wholly in accord, were deleted, perhaps because I am "not validated." How does one get validated?


Posted By: Cassandra Kyle  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

Well written and totally to the point.  The soldiers who risk their lives on the front lines are not the only ones who suffer duing a war.


Posted By: william tucker  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

yes in fact it is tougher on the families I think, because we know of our situation at all times, and for the most part have some control of it.  they sit and are in the dark and dwell on the  fears that come with having a loved onein a war zone.


Posted By: jack karnatz  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

The big question remains, why?  Why are our troops sacrificing their lives in support of a war fought for fictitious reasons?  Why, as Norman Mailer asked, were we in Vietnam??  And as for myself, a US Army vet of the Korean War, I'm still asking why I was there.  Oh yeah, to fight the Commies.  55 years later, it looks like the Commies won half that war, & we still have tens of thousands of GIs over there.  Why?  And last time I checked, the Commies were still in Hanoi & Ho Chi Minh city.

Get real, people:  there are a lot of unnecessarily dead GIs--and more dying daily.  Yeah, why??


Posted By: Len Zamkoff  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

Jack-Right on. I'm an Air Force vet of the Vietnam War. Neither it, Grenada, Gulf One or the Iraq War protected, let alone saved, even one of our freedoms, so they weren't "on our behalf." The dead didn't sacrifice, they were sacrificed for the benefit of interests other than ours. (My first post disagreeing with Purcell was removed a few minutes after it was posted. The second never got posted. Let's see if this does.)


Posted By: George Fragos  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

Great article. Without up to date information about loved ones status we are left to our imaginations. Knowing they are in harm's way we imagin the worst. This is all made worse by those in the press and politics shouting all that is bad and ignoring what is good. The real victims of this manipulation and negative spin of the facts are those waiting at home.


Posted By: Nancy Jones  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

I have five grandsons and a granddaughter and I don't want any of them or their families to be separated by a War.  God help us!


Posted By: A Griggs  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

To paraphrase a profound person, "If you can read, thank a teacher, if you can speak your mind without getting arrested or worse, thank a soldier...and his or her family!! If you don't like what this country stands for, leave! Seeing what has happened in Germany, Korea, Southeast Asia, behind the iron curtain and in the Middle East, one would have a hard time suggesting we've been on the wrong side of these conflicts. G-d Bless America!!


Posted By: Len Zamkoff  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

A. Griggs, before I leave, please tell me what did the dead soldiers (or the live ones, including myself) do in Vietnam, Gulf One, the current Iraq war, or any war America has fought since WW2 that makes me freer to speak my mind than if there hadn't been those wars? Before you post the "Domino Theory," recall that we lost in Vietnam, and if you believe that we're fighting terorists in Iraq so we don't have to fight them here, Iraq had nothing to do with 911, there were no Al Queda in Iraq before we attacked, and it is now a magnet for terrorists. Out of curiosity, what do you think this country stands for? (For what it's worth, I served in the military for 28 years, including Vietnam. What did you contribute to your country?)


Posted By: aeg  on Sunday, May 25, 2008

A Griggs, I don't know if you served your time. I spent 9 years as an officer in the Air Force during Viet Nam.  Don't ever tell me to leave if I don't like it.  I saved your butt more than once. It is my duty to change what I don't think is right and torture, pre-emptive strikes, attacking countries that don't agree with us plus other numerous actions by Shrub and the Cyborg are not the US or what we stand for.  You can leave.


Posted By: William  on Monday, May 26, 2008

What have we learned?

When will war stop?  

When will we evolve?  



When will the death and sorrow end....


Posted By: Jack Garoud  on Monday, May 26, 2008

post being removed? NOT OK...if I want to see opinions, then even those who insult openly must have right to opinions (no matter how lousy they are).

that's why I am also serving my country (Army Aviation), we fight for those things too!! am I right? or is Cagle's right to remove a post?



on the subject: WAR IS WRONG ABSOLUTELY AND EVERYTIME!!

are you going to kill people because they kill people? then what separates you from them?. I serve my country to make war as short as possible, so the people from my country (and the opossite) doesn't suffer; in a war I am prepared as a soldier to fight and resist the hardness of war itself, but no my family and not my civilians, I do this for them, WE do this for them, that's why we prepare so hard! so they don't suffer, not US, we are THERE TO SUFFER SO MY COUNTRY (as a whole) SUFFER AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.

and that reminds me of my fellow soldiers who are not longer with us, they die so my parents could live, so I don't go around asking why...if you serve your country and dont know why, then you are in the wrong career.


Posted By: A Griggs  on Monday, May 26, 2008

Dear Len and aeg, thank you for serving our country. I believe you misunderstand completely. WE THE PEOPLE have the freedom to speak because of the commitment of vets like you in the past present and future.

Anyone who doesn't love this country, has the freedom to run for government, make contributions to the opposition, live elsewhere or sit back and moan. As I have the right to defend it. Refer to the constitution if you need to know what this country stands for. Even with its faults, this is the best place in the history of earth!! I pledge allegiance to the flag of the USA and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, under G-d, indivisible with justice for all... it's an ideal to live up to. Whereas under the regimes mentioned above, one may disappear for the sake of target practice or simply belonging to a certain faith, race or political group, there is no such thing as due process at all.

Len, we had not won those wars, due in part to the media and politicians. Look what happened in Vietnam and Cambodia, North Korea and Iraq. MILLIONS died! The consequences of not winning now emboldens those who oppose us and may be felt in the near future. Would you want some group like Hezbollah on our southern border? As the weapons travel farther, the world gets smaller, look at that idiot in N. Korea, trying to reach California.

aeg, If you feel you saved my butt (speaking for all of us that were not there), then why do you feel your service was so worthless? I was way too young to be in Vietnam, by the way. Volunteered for the VA for years and donate regularly. Wish more people appreciated our vets!!

There has always been evil in the world. Our military is what keeps our country great!


Posted By: len zamkoff  on Monday, May 26, 2008

Again, my comment, this time in response to A. Griggs, has not been posted. It was not offensive. I think rapid removal of one comment not in accord with Purcell, and not posting another that disagreed with a naive and "patriotic" one is censorship, and a dishonest "Comments" section. Can Purcell not abide even mild disagreement? (Hypothetical. Final post.)


Posted By: Donald Wolberg  on Monday, May 26, 2008

The line between orderly society and those that would deny others that right is very thin. Historically that line has been maintained by those who by choice or societal demand, were called to risk life and limb. If one complains that this "war" was correct or not, is quite beside the point and always futile. At the same time it reduces the sacrifice of those that heed the call and risk life and limb to maintain the line between order and chaos. For most of its history, the world has been a mean and brutal place. Only the order of the time, from the Republics/Empires/Democracies have been the transmitters of those "better" values.



The order of this time (the last 300 years) is the growth of the American paradigm, the model for all others. The protector of that model has been the successive line of 18 and 20-year olds who are the only reason we and the order of the west survive. Every day of World War II, 29,500 people died. The taking of Okinawa led to 10,000 American dead and 27,000 wounded in one battle, mostly 18-20 year old Marines. "Duty," Honor," "Country," are meaningful emblems of our heros of the past and the present.



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Tom Purcell 2006